the persistence of ego: flash lite

Each of us is born with distinct gifts, to be developed and expanded through discipline and desire, or to be left to fade through apathy and anxiety. They encompass the kaleidoscopic range of human experiences, from construction worker to concert violinist, from doorman to

doctor, from gardener to golfer, from proctor to president. Yet why must society make delineations, create class categories, foster exclusivity?

A concert violinist must go through decades of disciplined practice on top of requiring the inborn gifts, yet is the construction worker—who labors through years of apprenticeship and stultifying weather conditions while helping to create the concert hall—a less valuable person?

A doctor must go through endless years of highly specific training and staves off disease, yet is the doorman—who helps to guard the doctor’s co-op against crime and murder, and keeps order—a less valuable person?

A professional golfer must devote immeasurable time to drives and putts while offering entertainment and ready aspiration, yet is the gardener—who maintains the course and cultivates beauty and oxygen with perpetual toil—a less valuable person?

A president, whether of company or country, must cultivate expansive education, political skills and charisma to guide and inspire groups of people with much at stake, yet is the proctor—who oversaw the president’s bar exam and ensures integrity and discipline within life-changing circumstances—a less valuable person?

These questions can be answered quite simply and directly. When guided by integrity on a daily basis, such positions require singular gifts and devotion while making tangible contributions to society. Who can say which is more valuable; who are we to judge?

Of course, absent the ethical aspect, the more-or-less-valuable answer becomes painfully clear. The New York Times’ Editorial Board, in “Truth and Lies in the Age of Trump,” captures the current reality:

The rise of social media has been great in many ways. In a media environment with endless inputs and outlets, citizens can inform and entertain one another, organize more easily and hold their leaders accountable. But it also turns out that when everyone can customize his or her own information bubble, it’s easier for demagogues to deploy made-up facts to suit the story they want to tell. That’s what Mr. Trump has done. For him, facts aren’t the point; trust is. Like any autocrat, he wins his followers’ trust — let’s call it a blind trust — by lying so often and so brazenly that millions of people give up on trying to distinguish truth from falsehood. Whether the lie is about millions of noncitizens voting illegally, or the crime rate, or President Obama’s citizenship, it doesn’t matter: In a confusing world of competing, shouted “truths,” the simplest solution is to trust in your leader. As Mr. Trump is fond of saying, “I alone can fix it."

Even in the face of an avalanche of proof and press and pressure, for so many in public and private life the ego continues to rule and forbids them to simply come right out and say that they made a mistake, which more often than not would close the matter and that direct acknowledgement would itself engender trust!

Beyond those who demonstrate repeated ethical lapses, though, given the abundantly meaningful and measurable contributors in wide-ranging occupations across counties and countries, why in the world must ego be so prevalent? Is this person more precious than that one? Does he or she deserve more or less? Does a bank teller on the front lines of the customer experience making $35,000 a year not deserve the same respect as the investment banker putting together mergers making $3.5 million a year?

Are we using our resources to further contribute to society or to buy trophy items with little practical purpose other than to proffer ostentatious display? The Red Cross worker who assists with flash floods saves lives. The fireman who puts out flash fires saves lives. Who does the flash-clad consumer save?

being held up: mug shots

The 8:30 a.m. conference at your downtown office will emphatically not wait for being held up in rush-hour traffic, for getting the kids ready for school in time for the bus, for finishing your preparation for the pending presentation, for putting gas in the car, for stopping at the ATM, for… for… for. If only you could have something to hold you up amidst the stress and lack of sleep that seem to purposely invade each week. Add waiting in line at Starbucks for that shot of espresso that briefly jolts the brain and body.

Why do we put ourselves in such a position? Must we stay up so late answering that enveloping stream of emails, watching and/or reading the end-of-day news, overextending to spouse and children? Well sure, this is contemporary life, when wanting it all comes with an inflationary price that only the weak decline to pay. Let the morning mugs of Colombian coffee be drained, let them be damned, but let them work!

The biblical tenet of reaping what we sow represents quite a clear directive to work hard—with discipline, focus and purpose. Yet are we similarly directed to lose sleep, to experience the kind of stress that eats away at fulfillment and achievement, let alone eliminates volunteerism? Must ‘calm’ be nothing more than a long-sought four-letter word?

In his recent article in The New York Times, “The Epidemic of Worry,” David Brooks writes:

Worry alters the atmosphere of the mind. It shrinks your awareness of the present and your ability to enjoy what’s around you right now. It cycles possible bad futures around in your head and forces you to live in dreadful future scenarios, 90 percent of which will never come true. Pretty soon you are seeing the world through a dirty windshield. Worry dims every sunrise and amplifies mistrust. A mounting tide of anxiety makes people angrier about society and more darkly pessimistic about the possibility of changing it. Spiraling worry is the perverted underside of rationality.

Coffee—that great enabler—does indeed work for the moment, but at what cost? Why not make an active decision to head up to bed 20 minutes earlier (and make no mistake, this is neither a passive nor easy decision in light of rushing demands), put on some Beethoven or Bennett or Bon Jovi, and just chill till sleep has its way? The mugs aren’t going anywhere, so they’re there if called. Yet that extra 20 minutes each day, those two-plus hours each week and 10 hours each month may well hold up the body and sustain our pursuit of happiness.

Try it and let’s talk.

shared experiences: risk verse reward

Is your spiritual life all that it could be? Bach’s “St. Matthew Passion”

Have you or one of your friends been diagnosed with AIDS? Springsteen’s “Philadelphia”

Have you lost a parent? McCartney’s “Let It Be”

Are you the child of divorced parents? Papa Roach’s “Broken Home”

Do you have financial problems? AC/DC’s “Down Payment Blues”

Do you feel an oppressive sense of loneliness? Schubert’s “Winterreise”

Every one of us must confront painful setbacks, difficulties and mistakes, invariably with serious consequences. For each such life-changing event, music offers profound balm. Listen to each verse.

Recognize that your reactions and individual suffering have been experienced countless times by your neighbors, friends, family… and much of the planet. Listen to each verse.

Seek out those people who have lived through similar experiences. When you have a broken leg, those around you will be sympathetic, they’ll offer to help, they’ll give support, but then they’ll leave without broken legs of their own, unable to truly understand. Music speaks to widespread human circumstances from a position of innate comprehension. Listen to each verse.

Music provides lasting rewards, and has done so for countless years. The risk is to remain closed, to be unresponsive to shared experiences and ready fellowship, to allow yourself to become frozen when life forces its inevitable snowstorms. Open yourself. Become receptive. While there are often no easy answers, comfort abounds through shared encounters in the company of those who have had to confront the very issues you’re dealing with. Your MP3 player contains abundant solace and wisdom upon a single touch. Listen to each verse.

As Nicholas Bachalar reports in today's New York Times, an optimistic attitude makes a tangible difference:

In 2004 and again in 2008, researchers used a well-validated questionnaire to rate 70,021 women on their optimism. The women were asked to indicate their degree of agreement with six statements (for example, “In uncertain times, I usually expect the best.”). Researchers also collected information on educational and socioeconomic status, smoking, alcohol consumption, cancer, hypertension and other diseases and behavioral characteristics. The women’s average age was 70 at the start of the project. The study, in the American Journal of Epidemiology, found significant associations between increasing levels of optimism and decreasing risks of death from cancer, heart disease, stroke, respiratory disease and infections.

Listen to each verse.